


The Last Day of Fall

by bookworm116



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 03:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm116/pseuds/bookworm116
Summary: Snufkin and Moomin spend some time together the evening before snufkin has to leave.





	The Last Day of Fall

Snufkin was a solitary kind of guy. He really didn't like being in a large group for too long, and he had to leave Moomin Valley every year because he needed to spend some of the time alone. 

That being said, Snufkin slept with something beside him, most of the time. Something to cling to, to hold onto in the night. He'd never cared much for company, but sometimes he just needed something near him. The object didn't have to be anything special, just his bag, or most of the time, now, an extra pillow. White and soft and fluffy. That didn't have any significance, he was sure.

The fall was coming to a close. Any day now, he'd pack his stuff and leave. Moomin was becoming increasingly anxious around him. He knew he'd wake up one day and Snufkin would be gone. Moomin always asked him to wait to say goodbye, but Snufkin didn't have it in him. If Moomin were to catch up to him, to say goodbye, Snufkin wasn't sure he'd even be able to leave.

But he needed to.

He needed to be gone for the winter, because Moomin wouldn't be awake, and because he needed the feeling of coming back in the spring.

Back to the valley.

To play his mouth organ and have Moomin come running out to greet him. The reunion was the best part, and if he didn't leave, he couldn't have that.

Snufkin was just settling down in his sleeping bag, drifting off, when Moomin's voice came through the tent flap.

"Snufkin?" He whispered. "Snufkin!" The zipper opened and Moomin poked his head into the tent.

Snufkin, realizing he was half dressed, hastily shoved his tail into his pants. His tail always went crazy around Moomin. He absolutely could not keep it out. At least he was good at hiding it. He wasn't sure if Moomin even knew he had one. He wasn't even sure why he had one. After all, his mother had been semi-human looking.

Moomin stepped into the tent, his soft white feet padding towards Snufkin.

"Hello, Moomin. I was just heading to bed," Snufkin said, trying to keep an even tone. "What do you need?"

Moomin stopped and sat down at the foot of his sleeping bag.

"I... you're leaving tomorrow."

Snufkin gave him a confused look. "I am? What gave you that impression?"

"Well- because of papa's new barometer's pressure readings- I mean- the temperature's going to drop, and we're sure to have snow."

As if on cue, outside, thunder rumbled. Snufkin raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure it's not just a little rain?"

He hadn't been focused on the weather. All he'd been focused on was Moomin. He hadn't realized the first snow was so close. But Moomin was right. He was going to have to leave.

Moomin shook his head wildly. "No, it's much too cold for it to just be rain. Oh, Snufkin, I just... I came to say goodbye is all."

There was a pit in Snufkin's stomach.

"Well... So long then, Moomin. I'll see you next spring."

He didn't dare look at Moomin.

Until he heard a sniff. Moomin was close to tears. He turned, jumped up, and started to unzip the tent. "S-see you, Snufkin."

He could not leave Moomin like this. He couldn't let the last words be teary. Then he'd be thinking about him all winter. How he'd been such a jerk before leaving.

"Wait! Moomin!" Snufkin leapt out of bed and grabbed Moomin's hand. "Don't- you don't have to go yet."

Moomin didn't turn to face him. He knew the Moomintroll was trying not to be a burden, trying not to make him feel like he had to do something just because Moomin was upset. He also knew that Moomin was a burden he needed. Snufkin sighed.

He might as well admit that he needed Moomin as much as Moomin needed him. Moreso, maybe. Moomin had all of his other friends, he had snorkmaiden, he had his family... And Snufkin had Moomin. Moomin certainly didn't think about him as much as Snufkin thought about Moomin. He didn't spend hours on end daydreaming about him. He didn't need him. He missed him, yes, but Snufkin was sure that if he were to leave for good, Moomin would be perfectly fine. Snufkin would not be. Somehow, some way, the Moomintroll had worked his way into becoming Snufkin's whole world.

"Please, Moomin," He said softly. "Stay for a little while."

Moomin turned back around and swiped at his eyes.

"O-okay."

They played cards under the dim light of Snufkin's oil lamp. The rain came down hard on the tent. Snufkin could tell Moomin was getting tired, but neither of them wanted to be the one to break their last moments together. After a while, they put the cards away and talked. About the summer. The flowers. The adventures they'd had.

Moomin leaned his head against Snufkin's shoulder. Snufkin kept talking as though this was perfectly fine, because it was, but it still terrified him. It scared him how Moomin, simply being Moomin, made him want to never leave again. Snufkin wanted to stay like this forever. Soon he heard Moomin's quiet, even breathing, and he knew he was asleep. Snufkin waited a little while. Savored the last few minutes. Savored Moomin being so close to him. Eventually, though, the lamp burned out.

"Moomin? Hey, Moomin." Snufkin reached out to tap him gently. Moomin yawned and pulled away from him.

"Snufkin?" He asked sleepily, and everything in Snufkin ached. Moomin looked around blearily and then realization filled his face. "Snufkin... I know I've already been a bother today..."

Whatever he was going to ask, Snufkin was going to agree to. Moomin didn't realize he held so much power over Snufkin. Moomin didn't notice a lot of things, but it had been many years. Snufkin was surprised Moomin hadn't noticed how he felt yet. Of course, Snufkin had made sure to hide it. To hide everything from him. To be stoic but friendly.

"Would it be alright if I stayed here tonight?" Of course it was. Moomin could ask him right now to go stand outside in the rain, and he'd probably do it.

"Well. I suppose."

"Oh, thank you, Snufkin!" Moomin looked like he was about to hug him, but stopped just short and dropped his arms. Snufkin smiled and turned to prepare a bigger bed. They'd had sleepovers before, but Snufkin couldn't remember if they'd ever spent the night in his tent. He gave his extra pillow to Moomin and laid down facing the tent wall. He could hear Moomin next to him, settling in. Then he realized his tail might come loose in the night and he rolled over to face Moomin. That was worse.

Staring into the face of everything he couldn't have.

Everything he was going to be leaving behind.

Everything he loved.

Moomin sighed and smiled. his eyes were closed. Moomin was everything Snufkin couldn't be. Moomin was everything Snufkin wanted. He just wanted something to hold onto. He told himself that it was only that. He told himself that leaning towards Moomin was only because he was warm, and Snufkin was freezing. His half-asleep brain justified it. Snufkin pushed his face into Moomin's soft fur. He was so warm.

"S-Snufkin-" Moomin's voice. "What are you doing?" Moomin was resisting, fidgeting. What _was_ he doing, exactly? How could he explain to his very good friend Moomin that all he wanted to do was hold him forever? He sighed. He was going to have to stop this and apologize to Moomin. Moomin abruptly stopped moving.

"Oh," Moomin said. "You're asleep."

He was not. He was ashamed at taking advantage of Moomin like this, until he felt Moomin's arm go around him tighter and heard soft laughter.

"You'd never let me do this if you were awake," Moomin said quietly. Peacefully.

Oh.

Did that mean Moomin wanted to hug as much as he did? No, of course not. Moomin was just naturally touchy. Snufkin let himself relax in Moomin's arms. He was almost asleep, too, until Moomin started whimpering. Immediately awake, he sat up.

"Moomi-" "NO!" Moomin yelled, scaring Snufkin half to death.

"Snufkin!" he cried, grabbing at the air. Snufkin took hold of his hand, desperately.

"I'm here, Moomin- what's the matter?" "Don't leave- please don't leave!" "I'm right here, see? I'm not going anywhere!" Snufkin yelped.

Moomin was dreaming. He had to be.

"I need you," Moomin said, quieter, still in a panicked tone.

"I-I need you too. I need you a lot. It's alright. It's going to be okay." Just the sound of Snufkin's voice seemed to calm Moomin down.

"I love you," Snufkin said with a whisper. "I love you so much I could die, Moomintroll. I love you more than I love adventure, and that's the scary thing. I don't know if I care anymore. I need to be alone, certainly, but I need you more."

Moomin seemed to be asleep again, still holding firmly onto his hand. "I must be dreaming," He answered, subdued. Snufkin sighed and leaned back against his pillow. "Yes, my friend, you must be, because there is no way that I would ever say that aloud when you're awake."

"Oh, but I wish you would," Moomin mumbled.

Snufkin couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

The air was gray in Moomin Valley as Snufkin packed up his things. 

Moomin was standing there, watching him. 

He couldn't quite tell what was on the troll's mind, and he was deliberately taking his time packing. Even though there was snow already on the ground, Snufkin found it hard to make himself move.

He told himself it was the cold.

He told himself a lot of things.

Once everything was on his back, he turned to face Moomin again.

Moomin gave him a sad smile, and Snufkin mirrored his expression.

They didn't share any words.

Snufkin walked out of the valley very slowly, willing himself not to turn back around.

But he did. He turned around again, and Moomin was still standing there.

Suddenly, the Moomin jumped up and down and waved with what looked to be all the force he had.

"Goodbye, Snufkin!" He yelled.

Snufkin felt himself break into a smile and he waved back.

He would be back next spring.

Of course.

 

**Author's Note:**

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